Ode to Otto the Great

Dear Otto,

I know I didn’t get to say “goodbye”, but even if I had been there, I would not have bid you farewell.  Instead I would have sat and shared all my funny Otto stories.  Or, as you have been known at various times: Othello Forever (your registered name), Otto-Matic, Otto the Great, and of course – by those who worked it – The Thigh Master. 

                  

When you came to us we were mesmerized by the giant white horse with the roman nose and the great backstory.  European Grand Prix horse, permanent damage done on flight to the US, ended up with our friend Laura M in California, and finally to us.  You always had a presence about you; but despite endless internet searches, I’ve never found European footage of you. 

I remember the first fun show we took you too – and how you became a different horse the minute you stepped in the ring.  Competitiveness, ability and presence took over, and you showed us you could still turn on a dime (to the surprise of the rider).

You would do your flatwork, but the minute it became clear the jumping was to begin, you woke up and took a whole new interest in the proceedings. How many times did I say the words “this is child’s play for Otto the Great”?

But your Houdini escapades are what you became really famous for in later years.  There was no door you couldn’t open, if someone left the key in the lock you could undo that too, and the latch at the very bottom of the door merely presented another challenge for you.  How many times did Teri wake up to the uneven clip-clop of Otto hooves? 

I’ll never forget the weekend I had ‘watch’ of the barn while Teri and John were celebrating their anniversary with an unprecedented trip off the property.  Otto you were the only horse I was worried about – just KNOWING you were going to escape and go walkabout.  Even at horse shows – for example, the Evergreen Classic, you got out, and when we went searching for you – there was your large white rear sticking out of the feed room.

How many bags of carrots, jars of horse cookies and god knows what else did you consume on your almost nightly jaunts? 

How you loved your naps too.  Once you got to turnout, you’d meander a bit, and then find a good spot to stretch out and really snooze.  You also loved to get free longue time in the arena, where you’d run and play a bit, then walk over and tell us you were done.  I still have pictures of you “helping” MJ, Mic and I put away jumps. 

And how many people did you hold up for treats just so they could get and out of the porta-potty without you flinging your halter at them? 

One of my last great memories was when you were living up top with your buddy Condor, and I heard you coming down the drive into the main barn.  You knew we were there and wanted attention, so just let yourself out and appeared to demand your due. 

Grooming you was certainly a challenge, but I remember your favorite spots to be scratched, and the permanent scrape on your nose, and much, much more.

You were big and handsome and regal and talented and beloved by so many.  There’s quite a bit more I can say, but it’s time to let you rest.  Just know you are loved and certainly not forgotten.

~mb

Satire on a Wednesday

Sometimes I write satire just for the hell of it.

Puerto Rico out of money

Governor, lawmakers fail to reach deal to avert country closure.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

SAN JUAN, Puerto Rico (MPS Press) -- The government of Puerto Rico ran out of money Monday, forcing the U.S. commonwealth to close.
The legislature and governor failed to reach a last-minute accord that would have averted one of only a handful of country shutdowns in history.
All 1,600 public schools on the island were closed two weeks before the end of the academic year, and 43 government agencies were shut down after negotiations between lawmakers and Gov. Alejandro Garcia Padilla failed. All businesses, including hotels, resorts and restaurants also closed – leading to comparisons with the closure of Malaysia several years ago.
Looking beyond the obvious economic impact on Puerto Rico’s citizens, one of the major ramifications of country closure is going to be the loss of its traditional place on the world map.
UN Resolution 1441 states “any country remaining closed for a period of time greater than 30 days is subject to erasure or relocation on the world map”. The above mentioned Malaysia was relocated to just off the coast of Argentina and is now known as The Falklands. Pundits report general satisfaction with the move, especially since “that Tsunami thing”.
Not all broke nations are as lucky however, as Malaysia. The country formerly known as Siam, which bought the rights to the former Malaysia on the map, remain less than satisfied with their transaction.
UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon spoke at a press conference during his tour of Cuba (formerly Equador); “Canada has expressed a great deal of interest in moving to the spot on the map currently occupied by Puerto Rico. The UN is looking very hard at the Canadian’s more than generous offer. It would mean they would have to learn to dress better, and take up more interesting sports, but this is possible. Such a move, in all probability, means that Puerto Rico will be moving north to take the space on the world map vacated by Canada in its move south. Of course, if Puerto Rico can’t come up with any money for the move, we may have to see if another country wants, and can afford, to move there. Maybe Poland.”
Governor Padilla responded with a plea his countrymen seemed to echo “Look, we are a resort and tourism based island nation. Please, give us time to come up with some money, and re-open. Our sunny island people will never survive in the tundra that is currently Canada.”
But World Map and Atlas procedure is clear. The clock is ticking and Puerto Rico has 29 days to re-open for business.
"As of 8 a.m. this morning, I don't have in hand a single legislative proposal that resolves this crisis," Padilla told reporters.
Puerto Rico has a $740 million budget shortfall because the legislature and the governor have been unable to agree on a spending plan since 2004. Bermuda – who successfully emerged from the brink of closure in 1962, has offered to work with Puerto Rico on the budgeting process. There is as yet, no word on whether the offer has been accepted.

Copyright 2013 The Mighty PS Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

5 Things I Think on a Monday

1) Does a Prius come with an accelerator or is that an optional accessory?  It must cost a lot because I have yet to see a Prius on the road doing even the speed limit.   Prius owners might consider investing in that piece of equipment because really, why make your car suckier than it already is?
2) I think I was a fool to jump off Palace Malice in the Belmont last Saturday.  I had him in the Derby, and have liked him since his first start around 2 turns.  $29 (I didn't win) later I'm remembering to stick with your pick.
3) I miss not showing The Mighty this year, but am finding myself vastly entertained at Emerald Downs.  I know Auburn is a ways off the beaten track for many, but its a heck of a lot cheaper than a Mariner's game, its outside, and you at least have the CHANCE to try to make some money rather than just giving it away.  But hey I'm just silly like that.
4) I know I owe a Costa Rica recap; but it took me a good long while to wrap my head around it, and things seemed to really change afterwards.  Don't know if it was me, or if 2013 is just a shift overall - but so far I like it.
5) I am looking forward to 6 days in NOLA.  3 will be all work - but evenings free.  I have big plans to eat myself silly, listen to some great music, and laissez les bon temps rouler!