I've thought about this for a long time, and, given the enormous opposition the idea would face, haven't considered posting about it. But what the hell.
Lets make the sport of Hunters transparent. The judges scorecards are posted at the end of each show day.
1) The judges need to feel safe enough to make their score sheets public. Therefore, there would be no protests based on the public posting of those sheets.
2) It would force judging to be consistent across the board. Currently - there is little to no accountability in judging hunter rounds. Making it public and transparent would change that.
3) Riders would actually have to educate themselves about how the round was judged (or their trainers would).
Lets test both the Champion and Reserve Champion of every Hunter division.
1) In horse racing, the top 2 (and in some places 3) finishers of EVERY race are tested, as well as some random tests. Its called accountability.
2) I don't want to hear about how much it would cost. I'd LOVE to feel like my USEF and USHJA dues were going to SOMETHING besides scholarships and programs for the already entitled.
3) First offense would be the proverbial slap on the wrist. Second offense drops the hammer. Make it serious and make it count.
Until changes like the above are made - this sport will continue to be perceived as biased, and for the priviledged few. If we really want to maintain any kind of horse community in this country, more people need to feel like horses and equestrian sports ARE a part of American life, and are somewhat attainable.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
Stimulate This
Some stimulus package questions - because people need to stimulate their brains and actually ask some questions about this nonsense:
If 94% of homeowners are making their payments, why the hell are we bailing out the 6% who aren't? Catastrophic medical reasons might be an exception, but essentially, if you overextended yourself, why the hell are WE (and make no mistake - it is us taxpayers paying for it) bailing you out? Foreclosure is brutal and devastating - maybe lesson learned.
How about we focus on employment instead. Theoretically at least, if people are working, they have some disposable income with which to stimulate the economy. A friend of mine (thanks D-Mo) did the math, and if the 1 trillion dollars earmarked for job creation is divided by the number of jobs expected to be created; 6 million, that comes out to a cost of $166k per job. I'd like one of those please.
Why oh why the hell are we spending part of this great, fantastic ,brilliantly thought out stimulus package on the film industry? God knows, they have plenty of coin already if the Oscars and their self-congratulatory brou-ha-ha are any indication. Aside from the fact that they robbed Mickey Rourke this year, $10 to see one of their crappy recycled story line movies is just more insanity. Don't give me the crap about distribution and middle-men blah blah blah. Slash salaries down the line for every part, costs less = charge less.
If 94% of homeowners are making their payments, why the hell are we bailing out the 6% who aren't? Catastrophic medical reasons might be an exception, but essentially, if you overextended yourself, why the hell are WE (and make no mistake - it is us taxpayers paying for it) bailing you out? Foreclosure is brutal and devastating - maybe lesson learned.
How about we focus on employment instead. Theoretically at least, if people are working, they have some disposable income with which to stimulate the economy. A friend of mine (thanks D-Mo) did the math, and if the 1 trillion dollars earmarked for job creation is divided by the number of jobs expected to be created; 6 million, that comes out to a cost of $166k per job. I'd like one of those please.
Why oh why the hell are we spending part of this great, fantastic ,brilliantly thought out stimulus package on the film industry? God knows, they have plenty of coin already if the Oscars and their self-congratulatory brou-ha-ha are any indication. Aside from the fact that they robbed Mickey Rourke this year, $10 to see one of their crappy recycled story line movies is just more insanity. Don't give me the crap about distribution and middle-men blah blah blah. Slash salaries down the line for every part, costs less = charge less.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Top 5, or, The Exceptions
Surely everyone knows this rule; you are given 5 exceptions of the hottest specimen of whichever gender you fancy. Torrid affairs with these people, no matter how short or long they last, are guilt free and automatically forgiven.
People may rotate in and out of your Top 5, depending. Some may lose that hotness factor, some may just get plain old weird, or, well who needs a reason?!
Some systems provide for a backup 5. I'm all for a backup, life is short, you must have a DH!
So, ta-da, here are my top 5, along with the reasoning (like I really need it!)
People may rotate in and out of your Top 5, depending. Some may lose that hotness factor, some may just get plain old weird, or, well who needs a reason?!
Some systems provide for a backup 5. I'm all for a backup, life is short, you must have a DH!
So, ta-da, here are my top 5, along with the reasoning (like I really need it!)
- Johnny Depp: The Divine Mr. D. has occupied the top spot for so long, I may have to move him to Emeritus status. What's not to like? He can be a different character every day (although I may draw the line at Gilbert Grape - that might be a little too..too). But he's been in the top 5 since 21 Jump Street Days - so what can I say? PLUS...he's a southern boy (Kentucky - holla!) and we all know their mamas raise 'em right.
- James Marsters: OK BTVS geeks - you should need no explanation. What woman wouldn't want eternal un-life with this gorgeous vamp? Six pack hell - he's got more like a 1/2 case.
- David Boreanaz: Angel is right. I always sort of liked him, but re-watching BTVS from season 1 again reminded me just how HOT he is! Another vamp I would go through un-deadness with fo sho.
- Jason Taylor: By far the hottest Washington Redskin, and quite possibly the hottest NFL'er on the planet. Tall, fit, an athlete...check, check and check. And football is my second favorite sport!
- I've had a lot of shuffling in this spot - seems like its always changing. Former occupiers have been Matthew McConaughy (personal hygiene questionable), Owen Wilson (bonkers), Marc Dacascos (no reason), Jude Law (too much of a man whore even for me). All of that said, the current occupier of this spot is Keifer Sutherland. Maybe its because a new season of 24 is in full stride and he is totally a man. Or maybe its because I've always liked his seemingly rebellious nature. Well anyway who needs a reason?!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
A Day in the Life of a Groom
I originally wrote this and posted to the @derby listserv in 1996. It remains, of the things I've written, one of my favorites.
________________________________________
Been there, did that for 8 years. Helped pay for me to go to school, and although it was the longest hours and lowest paid job of my sketchy 'career'....it was by far the most satisfying. It was hard to condense that much time into an article, and I know I left out a lot of details in the day-to-day routine.
You don't know my name, and you probably don't care. A lot of people think I am nothing more than a stall mucker. To others I am an unambitious loser who is content to do 'nothing more' than take care of racehorses. I am the person whose only contact with the public is to lead my horse over and back on raceday. My job is probably the least respected (by the public at any rate) least understood, and yet one of the most important in the game. I groom racehorses.
I get up at 4:30 or 5:00, (7 days a week, 52 weeks ayear) maybe a bit later if all my horses walk today. I need to be at the track, with my first tracker tacked when the track opens for training. I know every horse in my care better than some people know their own children. If one of them looks at me cross-eyed, or has a hair out of place, I know something is wrong. I know their eating habits, their stall habits, how they like to be 'woken up' in the morning, how they like to play, where they like to be brushed hardest, and where they like to be touched least. I know what frightens them, and what soothes them. I know how long they will sleep, and how they should look 24/7. I am mother, protector, first aid provider, chef, house keeper, and friend. Sometimes, tragically, I am the last soothing voice they will ever hear, and my tears are the last thing they will feel. They are not machines, they are living, breathing, incredible combinations of flesh and bone, that, while strong,are also delicate. I can ease their aches and calm their fears. Without me, the best training methods and the best riding in the world would not be enough.
I might live in the barn in a tackroom, and depending on the track, those tack rooms can range from not bad to downright squalid. I have lived off-track, but found it better to be near my horses in case of an emergency at any time of the day or night. My room probably has a single bed, a tv, and a portable closet. It is very moveable, because when this meet is over, I will go with the trainer and 'my' horses to the next track. My tackroom may not be the Trump Towers, but its home.
First thing in the morning, I will put her halter on and tie her in the stall. Off come the wraps, down with the hay net and out with the tubs. Feed and water tubs to be scrubbed clean, hay net to be re-filled. Take her temp, check the chart for todays training, get the tack if she gallops or works, the pony shank if she ponies. Check the legs now that the wraps have been off for a while. If there is anything out of the ordinary, anywhere, talk to whoever checks in first, the trainer or the vet. Our vet checks by every morning to make sure everyone is OK. If all's well, pick her feet, comb out the mane and tail, rubber glove her to get dirt and loose hair to the surface (and gives a good body massage) brush her, then rub with the rag (another good massage). Polos on, bellboots if she's ponying. If she's working, she might go in front vet wrap, and/or back run down bandages. Or maybe not, it depends on the horse, and you know what equipment every one of your horses goes in for every form of training/racing. If she's working, I will probably take her out of the stall and hand walk her a little to loosen her up, and when the rider arrives, I'll leg him up and walk them to the track. With any luck, I will get to see her work, and make it back to the barn to get a bucket of warm soapy water, some body brace and cold water bandages for her. I'll bath her, making sure I don't miss any spots, rinse and then body brace her. On with the cold waters, blanket and walk. Gotta do the stall. After morning training, I will go through and feed all my horses. Then, before they nap, I will repeat the grooming steps, and take care of feet and legs. I have four horses in my care.
On race day, I will put a muzzle on her after breakfast. I will probably sit with her all day. About an hour before our 20 minute call to the receiving barn, I will again tie her to the back of the stall, and repeat all grooming steps. I will probably put a light fly sheet on her. Any bandages that need to be run will be put on now. I make sure her racing bridle is clean, and in good condition. I check the blinkers the same way. I make sure we have the tongue tie and chamois if needed. Got my paddock boots, bridled up and we're ready for the walk over. People make me a little nervous. They follow me around the frontside after riders up, and I have turned her over to the pony girl for post parade. I tell them that if I knew who all the winners were, I sure as heck wouldn't be here...I'd be sailing my yacht around theMediterranean. This pisses some people off. But my focus is my horse. I may or may not make any bets, usually not because I don't want to jinx her. Did I forget to tell you that grooms are a very superstitious lot? I just want her to run good, and come back to the barn sound. If (when?!) she wins, Iwill pose her in the winner's circle for the picture. Then its off to the test barn, and then home...where the bathing, grooming and leg/foot work is repeated again.
They don't race every day, and on those days I might be free to do other things, like laundry, or maybe something off-track...maybe.I usually like to hang out with fellow grooms, or other racetrackers. We understand each other, and others, well, no matter how you try to explain it, most others don't get it. Some do. But at least with racing compatriots, we have pretty much the same hours, and same interests, and know the same people,and can entertain each other for hours playing 'do you know' and 'do you remember' and 'whatever happened to' games. Off-track relationships (other than with family) don't usually last too long, or at least, not without an exceptional amount of effort, and I've got too much to do.
I have cared for cheap claimers and multiple stakes winners, and loved them both. I have learned a lot from them, I know what heart is (and it can't be defined with mere words), dignity, guts and determination, and tragedy. I know what it is to take care of something so strong and yet so utterly dependant on you for everything, and be rewarded 1,000 times over. I have loved them, lost them, been frustrated by them, bit, kicked, nuzzled and comforted by them. Caring for them not only paid for an education, it provided one for me. I learned a lot about not just horses, but human nature as well. I know how decent people can be, and how mean and petty.
I wouldn't trade one minute of it. I was a racehorse groom.
________________________________________
Been there, did that for 8 years. Helped pay for me to go to school, and although it was the longest hours and lowest paid job of my sketchy 'career'....it was by far the most satisfying. It was hard to condense that much time into an article, and I know I left out a lot of details in the day-to-day routine.
You don't know my name, and you probably don't care. A lot of people think I am nothing more than a stall mucker. To others I am an unambitious loser who is content to do 'nothing more' than take care of racehorses. I am the person whose only contact with the public is to lead my horse over and back on raceday. My job is probably the least respected (by the public at any rate) least understood, and yet one of the most important in the game. I groom racehorses.
I get up at 4:30 or 5:00, (7 days a week, 52 weeks ayear) maybe a bit later if all my horses walk today. I need to be at the track, with my first tracker tacked when the track opens for training. I know every horse in my care better than some people know their own children. If one of them looks at me cross-eyed, or has a hair out of place, I know something is wrong. I know their eating habits, their stall habits, how they like to be 'woken up' in the morning, how they like to play, where they like to be brushed hardest, and where they like to be touched least. I know what frightens them, and what soothes them. I know how long they will sleep, and how they should look 24/7. I am mother, protector, first aid provider, chef, house keeper, and friend. Sometimes, tragically, I am the last soothing voice they will ever hear, and my tears are the last thing they will feel. They are not machines, they are living, breathing, incredible combinations of flesh and bone, that, while strong,are also delicate. I can ease their aches and calm their fears. Without me, the best training methods and the best riding in the world would not be enough.
I might live in the barn in a tackroom, and depending on the track, those tack rooms can range from not bad to downright squalid. I have lived off-track, but found it better to be near my horses in case of an emergency at any time of the day or night. My room probably has a single bed, a tv, and a portable closet. It is very moveable, because when this meet is over, I will go with the trainer and 'my' horses to the next track. My tackroom may not be the Trump Towers, but its home.
First thing in the morning, I will put her halter on and tie her in the stall. Off come the wraps, down with the hay net and out with the tubs. Feed and water tubs to be scrubbed clean, hay net to be re-filled. Take her temp, check the chart for todays training, get the tack if she gallops or works, the pony shank if she ponies. Check the legs now that the wraps have been off for a while. If there is anything out of the ordinary, anywhere, talk to whoever checks in first, the trainer or the vet. Our vet checks by every morning to make sure everyone is OK. If all's well, pick her feet, comb out the mane and tail, rubber glove her to get dirt and loose hair to the surface (and gives a good body massage) brush her, then rub with the rag (another good massage). Polos on, bellboots if she's ponying. If she's working, she might go in front vet wrap, and/or back run down bandages. Or maybe not, it depends on the horse, and you know what equipment every one of your horses goes in for every form of training/racing. If she's working, I will probably take her out of the stall and hand walk her a little to loosen her up, and when the rider arrives, I'll leg him up and walk them to the track. With any luck, I will get to see her work, and make it back to the barn to get a bucket of warm soapy water, some body brace and cold water bandages for her. I'll bath her, making sure I don't miss any spots, rinse and then body brace her. On with the cold waters, blanket and walk. Gotta do the stall. After morning training, I will go through and feed all my horses. Then, before they nap, I will repeat the grooming steps, and take care of feet and legs. I have four horses in my care.
On race day, I will put a muzzle on her after breakfast. I will probably sit with her all day. About an hour before our 20 minute call to the receiving barn, I will again tie her to the back of the stall, and repeat all grooming steps. I will probably put a light fly sheet on her. Any bandages that need to be run will be put on now. I make sure her racing bridle is clean, and in good condition. I check the blinkers the same way. I make sure we have the tongue tie and chamois if needed. Got my paddock boots, bridled up and we're ready for the walk over. People make me a little nervous. They follow me around the frontside after riders up, and I have turned her over to the pony girl for post parade. I tell them that if I knew who all the winners were, I sure as heck wouldn't be here...I'd be sailing my yacht around theMediterranean. This pisses some people off. But my focus is my horse. I may or may not make any bets, usually not because I don't want to jinx her. Did I forget to tell you that grooms are a very superstitious lot? I just want her to run good, and come back to the barn sound. If (when?!) she wins, Iwill pose her in the winner's circle for the picture. Then its off to the test barn, and then home...where the bathing, grooming and leg/foot work is repeated again.
They don't race every day, and on those days I might be free to do other things, like laundry, or maybe something off-track...maybe.I usually like to hang out with fellow grooms, or other racetrackers. We understand each other, and others, well, no matter how you try to explain it, most others don't get it. Some do. But at least with racing compatriots, we have pretty much the same hours, and same interests, and know the same people,and can entertain each other for hours playing 'do you know' and 'do you remember' and 'whatever happened to' games. Off-track relationships (other than with family) don't usually last too long, or at least, not without an exceptional amount of effort, and I've got too much to do.
I have cared for cheap claimers and multiple stakes winners, and loved them both. I have learned a lot from them, I know what heart is (and it can't be defined with mere words), dignity, guts and determination, and tragedy. I know what it is to take care of something so strong and yet so utterly dependant on you for everything, and be rewarded 1,000 times over. I have loved them, lost them, been frustrated by them, bit, kicked, nuzzled and comforted by them. Caring for them not only paid for an education, it provided one for me. I learned a lot about not just horses, but human nature as well. I know how decent people can be, and how mean and petty.
I wouldn't trade one minute of it. I was a racehorse groom.
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