And I Quote

Every now and then, someone here at work says something so eminently quotable - it has to go on my whiteboard.  Sometimes its even me.  So, in the absence of anything truly compelling to write (or maybe I'm just lazy - you decide) - here are a few notable quotes.  Names have NOT been changed as no one here is innocent.

We start off with a few from Adriane:
"If you were 63, would you be awake at 9:30 in the morning?"
Well Adriane, I don't know?  Is 63 the new 43?  And if so - I guess I would be at my job writing quotes on the whiteboard at 9:30 in the morning.

"No way he's riding his hog in this weather!"
Um....I will assume she meant motorcycle, but given we actually had to PASS A LAW in this state against certain 'activities' with animals - I wouldn't be all that sure.

"Mmmmmmm.....sweet little biscuit"
I don't even care to speculate.

Colin checks in with a couple:
"David Brooks is going down"
How on earth he would know what David Brooks is doing at any given moment is a mystery to me.

"I don't want Tony Danza passed around like some floozy"
Um...not knowing Tony's personal proclivities, I'm at a loss as to what Mr. Danza himself would want.

Oscar also had a couple of doozies:
"Ahhh..the pleasure pack.  Brings back fond memories."
almost immediately followed up with "I wonder how big it is?"
Well Oscar - again, all speculation aside......

But the all time winnner has to be Mr. Jim Barnes.  Ah how we love ya Jimmy!
"Oh yeah, you haven't see the big man move."
Apparently not.

"Time to butter up!"
And you wonder what we do all day at work.

"Grind 'em down 'til they can't feed their children."
I don't know what it means, but I like the concept.

"I'm gonna pop like a hemmorhoid if I can't tell someone."
This just doesn't even bear thinking about.

"We have an anal tab."
Yes, yes we do - and by 'we' I mean sexualwellbeing.com

"Too bad we don't have a marshmallow shooter that shoots butt plugs."
And that my friends, would be the product that finally married 2 of our best selling products.

And finally, my own quote:
"I could easily get 300 butt plugs."
My mother would be so proud.

World Cup 2010 goes to.....Spain

After following the World Cup from inception to finale this year, I wondered what it was that had me rooting for the Dutch.  I mean normally, you couldn't pry me away from Brazil or Argentina. 

But watching yesterday's match, the answer finally dawned on me.  I totally identified with the Dutch team.  Here was Spain; the arrogant, overwhelming favorite, with a classically beautiful soccer-playing style.  And here were the Dutch; scrappy, tenacious, not always pretty - but definitely physical.   And they made Spain sit up and look - hard.  They took them through regulation, and into the second period of OT.  In fact, Spain had to be one man up on the Dutch before they could score, and in the end it was 1-0 for the annointed ones. 

So by God yes..I identify with the Dutch.  My opponents may be more gifted or 'chosen'  - but they will never be more tenacious or determined than I.  Never, ever, turn your back on me (or the Dutch!) because we will take your horses, your ball, your friends, your game and your fans....and you'll be left wondering what the he** just happened.  And in the end, if you do manage to beat us, we will leave you broken and exhausted from the effort.